Hmmm.

I just dropped by to post something in this almost-dying blog.

Sigh.

I just don’t have the motivation to do so.

I guess some other day.

Here’s another episode of…

THE *ROLLS EYES* SERIES

My ‘Friend’ Francis Part 2

So this Francis ‘friend’ of mine apparently also likes one of our common friends. However, the two of them are not in good terms (From what the guy told me, he finds Francis difficult to handle. I’m having the same thoughts!) and thus, are not on speaking terms (apparently).

One faithful day, Mr Francis buzzed me on MSN once more (I’m thinking of blocking him already =X) and this was how the conversation went.

Francis: Hey. I have not been able to sleep well. I have been thinking about *Harold and I always cry myself to sleep.

Me: *rolls eyes* Why the hell are you still hung up over him? Move on lah!

Francis: But I can’t. I just can’t. It hurts when I see him in school everyday.

Me: Then it’s time you forget him.

*closes MSN window*

A few days after that, he chatted with me again. He told me that he wanted to meet Harold and talk to him. He was initially asking for my help but I declined as I thought that if he was genuine in his feelings towards Harold, he should tell Harold himself and not through a third party. And apparently on the day that they were supposed to meet…

Francis: Hey. I got stood up.

Me: Stood up? By who?

Francis: Harold. I knew I was going to be stood up.

Me: *rolls eyes* Stood up? My question is, did he agree to meet you up in the first place?

Francis: No.

Me: *pulls hair* THEN YOU DID NOT GET STOOD UP BECAUSE HE DID NOT AGREE TO MEET YOU! *rolls eyes*

Francis: But he did not show up…

Me: How did you tell him that you wanted to meet him?

Francis: Hmm. I asked one of my girl friends to go up to him and tell him the time and place where we were supposed to meet.

Me: That’s it?

Francis: Yeah.

Me: *bangs head on the table* OF COURSE HE WOULD NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO GO! If that happened to me, I would find it really weird and would not even believe that it’s true. =.=”"”"”"”"”"”"”" *rolls eyes*

*closes MSN conversation window*

To be continued…

It has been real long. I apologise for the absence. I will try to update more frequently from now on. Haha.

Anyway! Let this be the first of the many series that I am going to put up here on UTS. Let the series be called…

THE *ROLLS EYES* SERIES

What is this about?

Basically, this would be about real life accounts of what yours truly has encountered in the AJ Circle which just makes me roll my eyes until they drop out of their sockets. Oops. Too gory. Haha.

You get the point. It’s BITCHING TIME!

And now for part 1.

My ‘Friend’ Francis

Introduction

I met Francis through THE WEBSITE and we started chatting on MSN. He seemed to be quite a nice guy until there was once he blatantly insulted me. -.-”’ But that was still forgiveable. I’m not that mean.

So I went out with him once. It was not too bad. Maybe because I can talk. Unless I really despise you then I won’t talk to you but otherwise, I can crap. A lot. Heh.

After that, we chat on MSN once in a while. But the main story is what happened about a month ago.

We were chatting on MSN and this was how it went. (Roughly. But the main gist is here lah.)

Francis: Hey. How are you?

Me: I’m fine. Thanks. You?

Francis: Lonely and boyfriend-less.

Me: Why? Single ok what!

Francis: Huh! How about you? How’s your love life?

Me: Still single.

Francis: Why the smiley face?

Me: Ermm. I guess I’m happily single?

Francis: Oh. Ok. I’m not.

Me: Err. Ok.

- silence -

Francis: Are you seeing anyone right now?

Me: Erm. No?

Francis: Oh. Then can I?

Me: You mean ‘date’ me? =.=”’ (WE HAVE ONLY MET ONCE LAH!!! AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME THAT WELL YET!!!)

Francis: Yeah.

Me: Err. I don’t think I’m into such things right now.

Francis: Oh. Hmm. Then can we meet up?

Me: Oh. Can. Why not?

Francis: Meet up as in.. dating?

Me: (WHAAAAAT?!?!) Huh? *rolls eyes* Define ‘dating’.

Francis: What is dating to you?

Me: Erm. Meeting someone for lunch, dinner, movie. Just like how I meet my friends but just that the person you are meeting is your ‘date’.

Francis: Oh.

- silence -

Me: What does it mean to you?

Francis: Go out as friends. But with benefits.

Me: Benefits? What benefits are you talking about? *rolls eyes*

Francis: Like holding hands and stuff. To satisfy our needs.

Me: Needs? =X *rolls eyes*

*closes the MSN conversation window*

Now you know why it’s called The *Rolls Eyes* Series.

‘Til the next episode.

I apologise for the lack of updates! Mr omeprazole has been very busy as school has started. And my timetable sucks. *sigh*

It is interesting to see ajs around school. There are some who know who I am, some don’t (but I know that they are). There are those who are rather obvious, there are those whom you really won’t notice. (I wonder which category I fall into)

Sometimes, you would see two guys (who are aj) walking around school and it is rather obvious that there is something fishy between them. Haha. There are times when Andrew and I would just turn and look at each other and say ‘Confirmed plus Guarantee chop AJ’. Another category are those cuties (who dress well) and you would wish that they are aj. =X But then again, for what? If they won’t notice me, I guess there is no point?

And the Trevvy forum thread for the school’s getting scary. A lot of people cruising at the toilets! =S

And then I ask the question. What happens when people find the people they had ‘missed connections’ with? Hmm. Interesting.

And I’m still blur. Still in dilemma. Damn.

It sucks when you get confused by relationship stuff. (I hate using the word stuff but I can’t think of any suitable word to use right now. Haha.) All the more do I hate it when it involves me. Argh!

It sucks when you want to but don’t dare to. Like, sometimes, you would feel as if he is the right one for you, but then you’d take a step back and re-examine everything. You weigh things out and decide to wait. In the end, you would not dare to start anything.

Like sometimes, as much as you want to tell the person, you hold back because you don’t know if it is worth risking the friendship that you have forged. You get scared of the repercussions. You get pessimistic about what’s going to happen if it does not go the way you want to. You get all the WHAT IFs.

It sucks even more when you fall for someone you never thought you’d fall for. All the ‘wrong’ circumstances. The ‘wrong’ type of person. All the things you told yourself not to fall for. And yet, here you are trapped in it. What was wrong now seems right? Argh.

Sigh.

And it sucks. When you know that you just don’t know.

I was having coffee with *Bernard at Starbucks and we talked about a lot of stuff. About life, love and everything under the sun.

And during our long conversation, the topic about different types of people came about.

It’s actually more about different types of people when it comes to getting attached. I was saying, and he agreed with me, that there are 2 main types:

1) Those who want to get to know the other person (through dating, whatsoever) before getting attached

2) Those who don’t mind getting attached quickly as they reason out that they have all the time to get to know the person better once they are attached

I am sure this applies not only to the aj circle but to straight couples as well. 

As for me, I guess I would prefer to get to know the person better first before jumping into anything official. I am the type who really puts in a lot of emotional input in a relationship. I don’t know if it is like safeguarding myself but I would definitely want to make sure that the person I am ‘dating’ is the ONE for me. I would not want to regret my decisions in the end. Hmm.

But I strongly believe that when it comes, it comes. So I guess I should just take things as they come.

Not a break up though. Haha.

Mr Omeprazole apologises for the delay in blog updates as he is currently busy with certain school activities (although school has not started yet). Another reason is the fact that I am not so sure about what to blog about these days. Hmm.

One of the activities I was involved in was Orientation. Well, the usual camps whereby there will be games, games and more games. But of course, what interests me the most would be the Freshies – the new ‘recruits’ per se. 

Andrew and I were both involved in the camp and we were actually quite busy sniffing out who is aj among our new juniors. 2 of them sent our gaydars ringing but they are still bound for further confirmation. Albeit we are both thinking most probably they aren’t but there’s nothing wrong in trying to sniff them out.

However, another thing that struck me during that camp was something Andrew and I were talking about. (Yes, we had a heart-to-heart talk by the beach) He asked me, ‘Don’t you ever feel tired of being aj?’

I actually don’t have a sure answer for it now. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t. Hmm. Do you?

The queue.

The charge.

The stamp.

Dark room. Flashing lights. 

The drink. The jug. The ice.

The music reverberating.

The anthem playing.

The dance floor. The stage. The podium.

Bodies moving. Bodies grinding.

The heat. The sweat. The fatigue.

The clock ticks. It’s time to go.

Back to reality.

The NightRider’s waiting for me.

Just recently, yours truly met up for the first time with *Mark. Mark is someone I got to know from Trevvy for a while now and he then initiated a meet up. 

Mark is the type of guy who is very secretive of his identity. He did not disclose much personal information about himself except bits and pieces here and there. Although it was quite unfair because he knows pretty much a lot about me but to me, it doesn’t matter. So when he initiated to meet up for the first time, I readily agreed. Time to unveil and reveal the identity of the man behind the nickname. Haha.

And so we arranged to meet in town at 5pm. Since I was already out earlier that day, I made my way down to Orchard early. I walked around but also updated Mark on my whereabouts. He said he will be late so I just continued walking around. Last stop was Borders.

I was browsing through books and Mark said he will be finding me there. Initially, the plan is for me to find him. But since he was late (but not that late anyway), I told him to come and find me! But since he already knows how I look like, he said ‘No fun leh you!’ LOL

Anyway, I continued browsing through the Fiction section of the bookshop while waiting for him. All of a sudden, I saw from the right corner of my eye that there is a guy who just arrived and started browsing through books. I had a strong feeling it was him but I did not do anything. I just continued browsing through the book I was holding.

It was quite obvious that it was him because he was literally taking one book, flip through some pages and then put it back and take another one. LOL. But I still did not look because I know he was waiting for me to do that.

After a while, he called my name. Haha. And finally, I knew how Mark looked like.

We went to a couple of coffee joints but unfortunately were not able to find good seats until we saw one near The Heeren. We had a good chat over my Dark Mocca Frappucino (I think that’s the name of the drink lah). Haha.

I think the part at Borders was damn funny. LOL.

PS. Mark, good luck with your *Michael.

I was never really close to my father. I was always scared of him, always did whatever he wanted me to do (although at times, I would really throw tantrums without him seeing ). I would say that I am much closer to my mom than to my dad. I guess that’s pretty normal for an aj guy? And NO, my parents are unaware of my sexual orientation (but they should know better).

Despite that, my father has been really supportive of me and the things that I do. I remember there was a time when I brought some of his stuff to school for some project and when I returned it back, most of them (they were different coloured light bulbs I think) were either spoiled or broken. I was so scared to bring them back because I know that my father might get angry. But since the project was over, I had no choice but to bring it back. When I reached home, unfortunately, he was already there. So when I was about to tell him about what happened to his bulbs, I was grinning from ear to ear (I always do that when I don’t want the other person to get angry over what I am about to tell him/her =X) and told him what happened. He was laughing at me because he said I looked so cheeky and stupid. LOL. Luckily he didn’t get angry. I guess my tactic worked.

Anyway, I just want to tell everyone that despite our relations with our parents, they still ARE our parents. They raised us and loved us in ways more than one. So this Father’s Day, go and do something special for your Dad. Thank him for all the things he did to discipline you, guide you or things he did for you. 

Pa, Happy Father’s Day. See you soon.